My uncensored journey through fatherhood: laugh with me and at me as I try and figure out how to construct a family.

Jeff + Lindy
- From Southern California - First Time Parents - Tattoos - Piercings - Photography -

Ashtyn Arrived on July 11th, 2012

Install Theme

Parenting would be so much easier if babies could talk

  • Parent: Hey, I'm gonna heat up your bottle really quick. Pinky promise you won't throw yourself down the stairs?
  • Baby: I got this dad. I rather drink milk than wear a neck brace anyway.
  • Parent: Cool.
  • Baby: When you are done with the bottle can you change the channel to Doc Mcstuffins, I feel a tantrum coming.
  • Parent: You're not into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse anymore?
  • Baby: Dad, I'm 8 months old. I'm not a moron. The plot is always the same, it's mind numbing.
  • Baby:
  • Parent: Woah woah, what are you doing?!?!
  • Baby: Taking my diaper off and painting the couch with poo, chill out dad.
  • Parent: Please stop and don't move, you're going to get it everywhere.
  • Baby: It's in my hair :( Save me.
  • Parent: What did we learn today?
  • Baby: I can't be trusted.
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